One co-worker of mine recently bought a new bare-bone laptop. Since it’s a bare-bone, there was no operating system pre-installed. He came to me with a simple question “Can I install the Windows Vista I have from my old laptop onto this one?” I then told him he could but he has to call Microsoft to activate Vista on the new computer and the installation on the old one would no longer work since the license agreement for Vista only permits one machine to be activated at a time. And it’s enforced by giving a unique identification number to each computer and registering the number with Microsoft’s server.

We are no stranger to software licenses, they are everywhere. Even for Open Source, they have their open source license. We are so used to it we never read it while installing a program; we never give much thoughts about it; we accept it as a fact.

But imagine there is a license on the new DVD you bought, here it says “You are only allowed to watch this DVD on a single DVD player.” You must think it’s ridiculous, indeed it is. No studio limits their DVD to be played on a single player or TV set. But why aren’t we mad when we were told the software we paid for can only be installed and run on a single computer? We have to thank the legal geniuses in the commercial software companies.

Once upon a time there was only hand written copy. Then came Mr. Gutenberg invented something called mechanical printing press. Since mass printing became a reality, people could start making money by selling books. That’s when copyright first emerge as a legal statue to protect the ownership of intellectual properties. So people can’t just grab an existing book and start printing and selling as their own without permission. Well, that’s fair.

Then came the digital age. The spread of computers made it exponentially easier to create and duplicate (flawlessly) text, video, audio, and programs. But the copyright law did not change much.

In the old days, you bought a book, you own that book. Since you are the owner, you a free to do whatever you want with it. You can re-sell it to a second hand bookstore (First-sale); you can lend it to your friends, as many of them as there are; you can read it in your bedroom, dinning room, on the roof, on your toilet, all up to you.

But the software companies were not happy about that. They don’t want you to buy a program then share with all your friends, install it on all your computers, install it then sell it to someone else. How would they make money then? Their legal geniuses thought of a brilliant idea “we are not selling the programs, we are selling the rights to use these programs”.

Great, now when a customer buys a program, she is not the owner of the program, the software company is. Instead, she is a licensee who is bound by the license came with the software. All she can or cannot do is clearly defined in the license. And it’s legally binding like a contract. Brilliant idea indeed, but came with it are many problems such as my co-worker’s situation.

To entertain you, I present you the End User License Agreement (EULA) from the book Rapture for the Geeks: When AI Outsmarts IQ by Richard Dooling (a very interesting read, recommended for geeks and non-geeks alike). It’s a clever mockery of software licenses. Compare it to the EULA with the one came with your operating system. You will be really glad that there is no such license for books.

RAPTURE FOR THE GEEKS (RETAIL):
END-USER LICENSE AGREEMENT (EULA)
PUBLISHED: SEPTEMBER 30, 2008

1. GRANT OF LICENSE. Richard Dooling grants you the following rights provided that you comply with all terms and conditions of this EULA:

2. INSTALLATION AND USE. You may install, use, access, display, and read ONE COPY OF THIS BOOK on a SINGLE PERSON, such as an adult, man, woman, teenager, or other human person. This book may NOT be read by more than one person.

3. MANDATORY ACTICATION. The license rights granted under the EULA are limited to the first thirty (30) minutes after you install the book by opening it, unless you supply information required to activate your licensed copy of the book in the manner described on this page. You may also need to reactivate the book if you modify yourself or alter your personality. For instance, if you grow older and more mature, develop a mental illness, change your diet, or receive any artificial limbs or joints, pacemakers, implants, or organ transplants, then you may need to reactivate your license before you will be allowed to reaccess the book.

4. UNLICENSED USE. This book contains technological measures designed to prevent unlicensed use of the book. For instance, an embedded microchip allows the publisher to scan your retinas from time to time and make sure that it’s really YOU and ONLY YOU reading this book and not some random book pirate. Rest assured that Richard Dooling will not collect any personally identifiable information from you during this process, just blood, tissue, and bone-marrow samples, which may be taken (forcefully if necessary) to determine DNA. If you are not using a licensed copy of the book, you are not allowed to read the book or read subsequent updates of the book.

5. BOOK TRANSFER. You may make a one-time permanent transfer of the book to another end user. But after the transfer you must completely remove all knowledge about the book from the brain of the former person who read the book. If the book was so memorable that knowledge cannot be completely removed from the former person, then execute the former person using the most humane measures listed in Appendix A and mail the enclosed proof-of-execution and a notarized certificate of death (with a raised seal) to Richard Dooling at the address below.

6. TERMINATION. Without prejudice to any other rights, Richard Dooling may terminate this EULA if you fail to comply with the terms and conditions of this EULA. In such event, you must destroy all copies of the book and all of its component parts, destroy any notes you made about the book, and forget any parts of the book that you may be tempted to remember. If you find the book simply unforgettable, then decapitate yourself and mail your head to Richard Dooling for a $20 rebate. Be sure to enclose your original sales receipt (no copies!), the bar code from the book jacket, and the enclosed rebate form, which you should take care to complete before detaching and mailing your head.

7. PROTECT YOURSELF! Read only genuine books purchased from an authorized reseller. Do not download pirated books. Anytime you read counterfeit books, you are at serious risk. In a recent study, an organization hired by Richard Dooling found that 25 percent of the websites offering pirated copies of books also attempted to install spyware and Trojan horse programs that can compromise your operating system and make it impossible for you to properly view pornography on your computer.

Make sure your copy of Rapture for the Geeks is GENUINE! Ensure that you have easy access to book updates, sequels, second and third editions, book downloads, technical support, and special offers. Validate your copy of Rapture for the Geeks NOW with Richard Dolling’s Genuine Advantage!